Paige

While I was pregnant with Tucker, Paige would constantly talk about "Baby Brother" or "Baby Tucker", and would always look at and kiss my belly, and would also show off her belly!

She hasn't mentioned any of this ONCE since I went to the hospital. She has all of a sudden "forgotten" that there was ever a baby brother. It's so strange. It's really like she knows. In her own two year old way.

She sees my c-section wound, and knows that my tummy has a boo-boo, and that I have a big band-aid. The first time that I had the strength to put her to bed after coming home from the hospital, we were lying in her bed, singing our usual songs, and she interrupted with "Are you happy, Mommy?", "Do you hurt, Mommy?", "Do you feel better, Mommy?" Of course, I told her that I felt better, and that I was happy, and that she makes me happy.

I just can't get over how weird it is, and even "super natural" that she has not mentioned her Baby Brother or Baby Tucker again. It's like she knows he's gone.

But, oh, how I want her to have a sibling. I just don't think I can go through this again.

I am so freakin' thankful to have Paige!!! She was a MIRACLE! I had a placental abruption during labor with her, and the chances of surviving that are very slim. We both could have died. Or, Eric and I could have easily left the hospital without Paige and taken her home in an urn like we did with Tucker. But, we didn't. She is a miracle. She survived!

I always said that the best sound that I ever heard was Paige crying when they delivered her...... until I heard her laugh.

But, now that I know how precious that cry was -- it is still the best sound that I have ever heard.